1. Don't ask me questions that are none of your business. Example: Asking my husband 15 minutes after we announce we're having a boy, if we are circumcising, is rude. Our children's genital areas are no one else's business.
2. Don't show up in my labor room unless I, Alyssa, have physically invited you there. I'm sorry, but I do not feel like entertaining or being friendly while contracting. You can come to the hospital, wait in the waiting room, and even see the baby after everything is cleaned up, but please don't come back there during this personal time.
3. Don't come to my house the day we get back from the hospital. We will be exhausted, trying to unpack, and just want to get comfortable... alone.
4. I will not need a babysitter (that is, someone to watch the baby without my husband or myself present) for at least the first 3 months of its life. I'm still bonding with my baby, and no matter how sleep deprived I get, this time will be visits only, no complete separation from both parents.
5. I appreciate all gifts, but if you buy me something used, please clean it first. I received a gift after Uriah was born that was so filthy I almost threw it in the dumpster and said screw it. I had a newborn, I was still recovering, Uriah was in and out of the hospital, Sean was working, and I was trying to keep the house decent while getting us all fed. The last thing I needed was a chore. Sean said we had to use it though, so several weeks after I got it, I spent hours scrubbing it and letting it dry. We have used it some, but it was still rude, in my opinion, to give such a gift in that condition. I do not need to have everything new (every outfit I've bought Uriah except maybe 2? have come from goodwill) but if I receive something used, it should look halfway decent I think.
6. If my baby ends up back in the hospital for whatever reason, you are more than welcome to visit the hospital as long as we know ahead of time. The same applies for when we return. Do NOT walk into our house less than 2 minutes after we get home, with baby still recovering, without knocking, and come inside and grab my child. The door will be locked, and if you knock, it will be ignored. Give us time and notice, please.
7. Do not complain about any of these rules to my husband. We are a united team. Any attempt to gossip about me and 'my' parenting (when it is 'our' parenting) will be taken as an attempt to come between us, an attack of sorts, and will not be welcome by either of us.
8. I do not need your advice unless I ask for it. Every baby is different. So telling me what worked for you, will not necessarily work for my baby. And after Uriah, I'm pretty sure I've heard it all.
9. I don't want to hear if you don't like our child's name, & neither does Sean. I've run tons of names by him since 2011, and we've spent hours deciding the right ones. You can bet what ever opinion you've formed in the 2 seconds after you've heard it is not going to get us to change our minds. This will be your future grandchild's, niece's, nephew's, etc. name, so please be respectful.
10. Any gift of disposable diapers will be returned for money to Wal-Mart. Period.
What rules would you add from your experience as a mom?