"If you keep him up all day, he'd sleep through the night"
"He'd probably sleep better if you didn't put his paci back in at night"
"You haven't fed him solids yet? Isn't he 4 months?"
"What kind of TV shows does he like?"
"How many naps a day does he take? 2 right?"
"Make lots of noise when he's sleepy and he won't wake up because of noise"
"He can't just be satisfied on formula"
"We raised 5 kids, we know a little something"
"You are getting him circumcised right?"
"He does sleep in his crib right?"
"Why don't you ask us for advice on things?"
"I kept my daughter up all day and she slept through the night"
"I kept my son up all day and he slept through the night"
"My daughter was eating 8 jars of baby food a day at this age"
"You're not getting gas out by rubbing his tummy, you're just tickling him"
"Stop pinching that baby"
"I passed by your house and heard the baby cry"
"Is he sleeping through the night yet?"
"Rice cereal would help him sleep through the night. Put some in his bottle."
"Oh he's got a paci? Thought you weren't going to give him one?"
"Nah you don't have to hold him on that rocking horse, he'll grip the mane"
"Aw, I bet you could set him in front of the tv all day and he'd be great!"
"Want me to take him? Oh, no? You want to keep him asleep? Ok..."
"Wake up Uriah! Don't go to sleep!"
"He looks just like his dad"
"Oh those 18 month clothes aren't too big at all"
"Why don't you take him on the lawn mower with you to mow the yard?"
"He hasn't said mama or dada yet? Isn't he 4 months?"
"I shaved my baby's head when the top hairs fell out. I didn't want him to look like a grandpa"
"He's bald just like grandpa!"
"You two go out, I ran a daycare, I can babysit your 2 week old while you go on a date"
"How do you keep cloth diapers from smelling? I did cloth for my first babies and I would never do those again"
"You don't bleach your cloth diapers? How are they clean?"
"He's fussy... maybe he wants water."
"The Bible says to circumcise you know."
"He's crying? He's hungry"
"I know they don't feed me either."
"I think he wants some ice cream."
"You aren't breastfeeding, why? You have big boobs."
"You should breastfeed even if it's just a week."
"Our daughter got all used things for her babies. And she was happy with it."
"Cereal is nutritious"
"My kids never cried at the same time."
"You aren't going to give him tea when he's little? I gave my babies coffee."
"He's teething cause he's chewing on everything."
"The cat will suffocate him."
"You keep the baby inside too much."
"Well did you expect a baby to be easy?"
"You can walk into our house without calling or texting first, why do we have to do that for you?"
"Did he get a uti because he's not circumcised?"
"He's too bow legged. You didn't ask the doctor about that?"
"I gave my babies rice cereal in a bottle and they didn't choke."
"Our parents used bumpers and we survived."
"He's really pale."
"Make him laugh."
"Why is he crying?"
"He can't see anything yet, too young."
"See? He fell asleep with all this noise going on. Guess it doesn't have to be quiet, huh?"
"He can start solids now you know."
Have you heard any of these before? Any I didn't mention that you've heard?